Boneless (Chandni Cowk to) China!!!!! (Movie Review: Chandni Chowk to China)

Akshay Kumar's movies fall into the bracket of mindless and illogical yet entertaining movies. His latest flick "Chandni Chowk to China" is no exception. Same old hype was created to steal the thunder from the latest Khan flicks. A 'rap number from Akshay Kumar', 'Akshay Kumar first Kung Fu movie' and 'Deepika Padukone's first movie with AK' were the special ingredients for the promotion of this movie. AK's movies are always special because it churns out tremendous amount of money from the audiences. Come what may, he rules the box office. Akshay Kumar is certainly new king of Bollywood. All these thoughts were imprinted in my mind when I entered the auditorium.

When I came out of the auditorium, I was the happiest man in the world. The only thing in my mind was 'Finally, I am out of the theatre!!!!'. It is one of the most pathetic movies I have ever seen after "Tashan" (which co-incidentally starred Akshay Kumar as well). It was like - I can't bear this kind of torture any more. I usually carry some kind of message after watching every movie. This movie also gave me a good message - "Don't watch pathetic movies". The only saviour of the movie - Akshay Kumar also must have got a good message - Don't act in pathetic movies.

The movie starts with the rise and end of Chinese warrior Liu Sheng who fights bad men. (Venue - Great Wall of China). So obviously, the nearby villagers worship him a lot. With his end, there is one man named Hojo (Gordon Liu) who is basically a smuggler and tortures the village. His tyrant approach is leading to slavery and poverty. Out of frustration and fear, two villagers manage to escape to find the reincarnation of Liu Sheng. They somehow identify the reincarnation in the form of Delhi Dhabewala Sidhu (Akshay Kumar) who is looking out for luck to achieve success. The chinese villagers with the help of cunning Chopstick (Ranvir Shoerey), who is roadside Indo-Chinese Astrologer, convinces Sidhu that he is a reincarnation of Liu Sheng and take him to China. He goes there thinking that he will get everything he wishes for since he is the king. When Hojo comes to know about this, he kills Sidhu's Dada (Mithun Chakraborty). Thus the revenge forms the rest of the story.

Weak Direction, Weak Screenplay and weak picturization. The director ends up making fun of China and chinese people. Above all, the China over here is restricted to Great Wall of China. Comedy gets a bit vulgar too especially the "iron man" jokes. (Strictly not recommended for a child's ear). The background score is too loud. The climax sequence which should have been the high point of the movie turns out to be the weakest link. You expect Jackie Chan type Martial Arts Action and you end up getting Veeru Devgan/ Ram Shetty kind of action. The only action sequence where Deepika fights pre-interval is something to watch out for. She fights better than Akshay Kumar which is somewhat hard to believe. Overall, music is fine. 2-3 songs are good, like the title track and the Chinese umbrella somg "Ter Naina" (good on ears but hurts your eyes). My favourite pick is the rap number by Akshay Kumar which ends the movie (not worth waiting for).

Deepika is strictly okay. Second time in a double role. A bit too much!!! Above all, her story track is entirely different which unnecessary elongates the movie. Most importantly, she can't act though she looks gorgeous. Ranvir Shoerey is purely wasted. Gordon Liu is one of the worst villians I have seen till now. Mithun was good in a short role for a change.

The movie was made keeping Akshay in mind. The comic sense, the action and the romance was tailor made for him. Its only because of Akshay Kumar, this movie is bearable. Otherwise, I will repeat, the movie is pathetic.

The director should take good care while making movies in future because a lot of money is riding on the back of Producers, Financiers and Distributors especially if its a Akshay Kumar movie. What a waste of all facilities he got? I had heard of Bone China products which are very brittle. This movie is even a worse case - Boneless China!!!!

Rating - 1/5